Grow old together, possible?

Things happened to friends around me make me feel insecure, start to realize and to accept that things can actually changed very fast which are out of our control, nothing is granted. 

Not sure it's a good or bad things, seem like I'm just awake from the world of fairy tale, comes to the reality. I used to be trust everyone, things I thought is reasonable to me should be the same to others. But in fact, everything could be happened in a light, complicated and not as simple as I thought. Sounds like a bit disappointed to the reality, but tat's the reality. Now I got to always remind myself to think of the worst case scenario, so that I can be more happy. 

But somehow, when I said I don't care, I can feel my heart does care. Conflict happened inside me, how to get rid of it? I had lost the trust and confident. Question marks are popping out from my mind????Are you still love me as much as before? Will you abundant me one day? Will I able to accept when the day had come? 

I think I'm getting crazy before I got the answer.